I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
