Sober January is a disaster.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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