So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
