addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
