wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
