I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
