stop calling my apartment porn island.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
