If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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