Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
