yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
