dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think a kid would responsible me up
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
