My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
