A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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