Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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