Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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