May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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