please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You are the jesus of drinking
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
