And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think I sprained my soul last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
