walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
