I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
