nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
