so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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