the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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