Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
