I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
