you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
