come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
