Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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