at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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