It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
