You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
