This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
