yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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