I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
