Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
