what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
