I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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