Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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