K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
