I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
