I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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