When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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