Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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