Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
