Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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