i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
