Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
