Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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