She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
