your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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