he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize