dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
