you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
