I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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