Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry faberry hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

I gave up sex with dolphins for you.

Fav 10 1520 1023
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school

Fav 59 10619 1308
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.

Fav 9 1296 3379
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

Fav 21 1381 8352
share tweet
(613): View more from Ontario

what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?

Fav 9 2435 1297
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable

Fav 9 1779 777
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

Fav 2 1969 861
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+34): View more from Spain

30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.

Fav 0 432 255
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.

Fav 0 14 41
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT