His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
