I just saw a hot homeless man
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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