forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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