I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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