We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
