And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
