time to smoke my breakfast
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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