I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
